Answers...

to commonly asked questions.

Turn of Ping in iTunes

i think you told me the answer to this but I can't find it.

i've got an exchange calendar plus three mobile me calendars.  

all of them show on my phone.  but the exchange calendar doesn't show on mobile me so it doesn't synch to the laptop.

can i fix that so that all calendars show on all devices?
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When you add an exchange account to the iPhone you should have the ability to toggle syncing contacts and calendars hosted on the exchange account. If you want to add these calendars to your iCal then you’d have to add the exchange account to iCal’s preferences under Accounts and select to add Exchange.
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An exchange account works completely separately from MobileMe. The calendar show in the same view but syncing is separate. You’ll need to know the exchange server settings if you do this. In Lion and Snow Leopard as well, when you add an exchange account to Mail.app you’ll be asked if you’d like to add calendar and contact syncing into iCal and AddressBook as well. However, not all exchange accounts work as well with Apple’s Mail and iCal. There are several versions of Exchange in use and it’s a little complicated which versions work with which versions of Outlook, Mail.app etc...
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