When we merged my iPhone contacts it erased all my phone # . Can I get them back or are they lost for good?

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When initiating syncing on the iPhone to a mobileme account there is an option to merge contacts with those already in the mobileme cloud.  I always select to merge but have seen the merge command fail therefore replacing the data on the phone with that in the cloud.  

If this happened with your contacts, I'm very sorry.  There may be a Time Machine backup we could recover the old address book contacts from.